A wise man once said something about a healthy body leading to a healthy mind. As a writer and a creative person it is important to look after your mind and body. In the stories we write there is a protagonist who has a goal and an antagonist who is trying to stop him from achieving said goal. There is conflict between the hero and the villain that ends in a climax. Either the protagonist overcomes the antagonist or he or she is defeated. However, in the real world, we are often our own antagonists. Our desires often work against us. Some would call those inclinations, sinful desires or demons. I am not a religious person thanks to Richard Dawkins and his great book The God Delusion but I truly believe there a dark energies, call them demons if you will. And I struggled with my demons for many years until I had had enough. Out of the seven deadly sins I battled sloth, lust and gluttony.
My New Year's Resolutions were to quit smoking, quit porn, quit over-eating, quit masturbation, start exercising and looking after my health. So far so good. I used to be a fat unhealthy slob with no motivation. I was your typical starving artist, the writer with a cigarette between the lips typing furiously at the keyboard. Four months into 2025 and I am well on my way to a healthy lifestyle. This is how I made the righteous steps.
The Vitruvian Man by Leonardo da Vinci.
HOW I QUIT SMOKING
Firstly, I stopped associating with so-called friends who smoked. Hanging out every day with chimneys is one sure way to continue smoking. So I blocked their calls and ignored their invitations to late night parties.
I first tried to go cold turkey and just quit but I was unsuccessful. The stress of daily life drove me back into the cigarette's arms. I tried nicotine chewing gums but they did not have the nicotine kick. I watched anti-smoking adverts but they did not scare me enough. Then one day I walked into a store and saw ZYN, the nicotine pouch. It was cheap and affordable. And I bought one. I used four pouches every day for about 3 weeks. Then after that 3 weeks I was able to quit my nicotine addiction, the urge was there but very mild. Four weeks of no nicotine and I beat my addiction. Thanks to ZYN I am totally quit smoking. And I would urge anyone struggling with tobacco use to try ZYN. It is cheap and does not destroy your lungs.
ZYN helped me quit smoking.
I QUIT PORN AND MASTURBATION
The deadly sin of lust was a great antagonist. I watched porn, masturbated daily and wasted money on hookers. Quitting porn, hookers and daily masturbation was the best decision I ever made. Masturbation made me lazy and unambitious. I would wake up and masturbate before work, come back home and masturbate again. And this made me lazy at work and I was too lazy to do anything productive around the house. I used to think if I didnt masturbate I would go crazy but instead I felt alive. I felt energetic, clear headed. I could feel the testosterone increase in my body. I have more motivation in my work and I am no longer too lazy to exercise. Once I stopped masturbation there was no reason to watch porn. I used to waste hours watching porn but now I spend that time exercising, reading and writing.
I no longer pollute my mind with porn.
I QUIT RELIGION
Religion has always been a money making scam. I wasted money by giving it to the church. Religion is the shadow, politics casts over society to hoodwink the simple. Karl Marx called religion the opium of the masses. It is more like the opium of the poor masses. And it really does work like a drug. You begin to hallucinate about religious experiences and talk to an imaginary friend. You waste your money giving it to your local hustler/pastor. I no longer battled with guilt and anxiety of the afterlife and what a non-existent sky daddy thought. After I read Richard Dawkins The God Delusion, I had a new appreciation for life. Once you realise there is no afterlife, you enjoy life more. Little things don't bother you as much because it doesn't matter, you die in the end and there is nothing beyond the grave. Moreover, if there is no sin, there is no guilt or need of forgiveness. Without a sky daddy judging my every thought and deed I am truly free. Instead of wasting time reading bronze age literature I consume more informative books and media instead of filling my head with myths and legends.
Two of the greatest books ever written.
I QUIT OVER-EATING
Gluttony is a deadly sin I had difficulty trying to overcome. We live in a very unique time where more people struggle with over-eating than hunger. I love food and for a while it showed. I had a pot belly and two chins. I hated what I saw in the mirror. I tried to eat less but my stomach would growl and demand more food, I tried taking smaller bites. That didnt work. I tried chewing slower. That didn't work. I ate fruits. I was still fat. I tried drinking water after meals. That just made me urinate more. Then I tried drinking water BEFORE eating my meals. That did the trick. I drank a litre of water before every meal and I found that I got sated very soon and ate less. And with the food I urinated a lot less. Four months later my pot belly is gone.
A litre of water before a meal keeps the hunger away.
I STARTED EXERCISING
The deadly sin of sloth was another antagonist in my journey to self-improvement. Without porn, masturbation and over-eating to distract me I had more time to exercise. I bought my scale, jumping rope, yoga mat, ab wheel got to work. I started doing push ups and crunches every morning and evening. When I began I could barely do 8 push ups and now after a month I am doing 15 easily. I do leg raises and crunches and planks for my abdomen and now I can see six pack forming. I jump rope once a week for about an hour. Exercising is now my new addiction!
Push ups are nature's free gym membership to the world.
Skipping rope is a fun way to exercise.
I STARTED SLEEPING EARLY AND EATING RIGHT
Getting a good night's sleep is very important. I used to sleep after midnight watching Youtube videos. And I would wake up feeling like shit. Then I started sleeping at 10 pm. I now wake up early, feeling alive and fresh and ready to kick the world's ass.
I used to eat fast food and junk food but now I make sure I eat fruits, vegetables, proteins, milk, eggs etc. You are what you eat and if you eat unhealthy food you will look unhealthy. I take multi-vitamins every day and I havent had a cold in months.
I sleep at 10pm every night.
I take Multi vitamins everyday.
I eat lots of fruits and vegetables.
I STARTED TO LOOK AFTER MY DENTAL AND BODILY HYGIENE
Uncleanliness should be added as the eighth deadly sin in my opinion. And I struggled with personal hygiene. I really didn't care much for my teeth until I broke a tooth and had to spend money to go to the dentist to get a filling. The dentist told me to start flossing and I followed his advice. Now I floss my teeth, use mouthwash daily, brush my teeth twice a day, change my toothbrush every three months and go for a dental cleaning every sixth months.
Flossing and brushing every day keeps the dentist away
I makes sure I shave my armpits, use roll on, cut my nails, cut my hair and shave my beard. I have also started wearing slippers and slopes instead of shoes. Slippers are more comfortable and they don't make your feet smell. Moreover, I now bath with cold water at least once a week because cold water bathing has health benefits like increasing your metabolism, improved skin and better sleep.
I prefer sandals to shoes because shoes make my feet smell.
The next thing I plan on doing for my bodily hygiene is to get circumcised. A circumcised penis is cleaner and reduces the chances of getting sexually transmitted diseases.
A circumcised penis is cleaner and more resistant to sexually transmitted diseases.
CONCLUSION
So that is my journey in 2025 as I combat my flaws. In life sometimes we are our own biggest enemies. Before conquering the world one must first conquer one's self.
Pimpology was a very entertaining book to read. It is a short book so you can finish it in a couple of days. It was written by a former pimp who worked in the prostitution industry. Every chapter is about a specific law. And the chapter is divided into three parts. The first part is a quote about the pimp game. The second part is the Life, where Pimpin Ken talks about his life in the pimp game and when he applied or learned the law. The third part is the Ism where he applies the laws of pimping to the practical world. For example in one chapter 13, he writes about Law 13, Pimp like you are Ho-less. Pimpin Ken writes about a pimp he knew named Rob Roberson who got too content with one ho who was making him so much money. One day the ho left and Rob did not know what to do. Since then Rob had to pimp like he had no hos. The advice is a pimp has to continue pimpin 24/7 and keep adding hos to his stable. The Ism or the application in life is to work like you are starving and to always have a back up plan to your back up plan.
This book got me thinking. Is prostitution the world's oldest profession? Or maybe pimping is the world's oldest profession? What came first hoing or pimping? Did a pimp convince a woman to be ho? Or did a woman choose to be a ho and then found a pimp? It is the classic chicken and egg story. Who knows?
According to Pimpin Ken the world is divided into pimps and hos, wolves and sheep. Politicians are the biggest pimps. They basically treat whole countries like hos, sweet talk people and take their money. Preachers and religious leaders are the second biggest pimps, they sell dreams and take people's money. Luckily for me I am an atheist and dont vote or support politicians so I am not a ho for politics and religion.
But to a certain extent I disagree with Pimpin Ken. The world is divided among pimps, hos AND johns. In my book there is nothing worse than a john. At least hos earn and use some of the money they get. Johns just lose money for a quick fuck. I would rather be a ho than a john.
Nowadays with Only Fans it seems like hos dont need pimps any more. They get men to give them money without having to sleep with them. What a crazy time to be alive. Makes you wonder if hos ever really needed pimps or it was all just a con game.
Anyway, if you havent read Pimpology, get yourself a copy. I guarantee you will enjoy it and be informed at the same time. Dont be a ho or a john, be a pimp. Dont be a sheep, be a wolf.
Just because movies and television are so boring nowadays I have had to watch movies from the 90s like Gang Related. The 1997 film starring James Belushi and Tupac Shakur did not disappoint. If you havent see it please drop whatever you are doing and watch Gang Related.
It gets you hooked straight from the start. The film puts you in handcuffs and you feel like you are under arrest and in prison. Without giving too much away Gang Related is about two crooked cops who rob drug dealers but get into trouble when they kill a drug dealer who was an under cover cop. Just when the cops think they have gotten away with their crime the two get deeper and deeper into trouble. But I wont spoil the ending so watch it yourself.
As a writer I struggle to come up with complex story narratives and take a lot of inspiration from films like Gang Related. The movie does not have any fillers nor does it waste the viewers time. The dialogue is crisp and to the point. It has several plot twists. The characters are complex and believable. James Belushi was one hell of an actor. He was like Tony Soprano before Tony Soprano. He played the lovable anti-hero to perfection. The sexy Robin Givens gives a great performance. It is just a great movie all around.
On the other hand I watched another Tupac movie called Above the Rim. It was total garbage. The acting was terrible. The dialogue was dog shit. The plot was bland. A high school drop out could have written a better script. The only thing I loved about Above the Rim was the soundtrack. It had Regulate by Warren G and Nate Dogg, and Pain by Tupac. It would have been better to use the money used on this pathetic waste of film and fed the hungry and homeless.
The golden age of television is well and truly over if shows like Disclaimer are what passes for entertainment. Sasha Baron Cohen is one of my favourite actors. I enjoyed Spy, Borat, Bruno, the Dictator and Ali G. So when I saw him on a talk show promoting Disclaimer I was excited and could not wait to watch the show. Then I saw the legendary Cate Blanchett on the same show and I could not contain my excitement. Then I watched the show Disclaimer and when I finished it I felt dead on the inside. I felt dirty and used. I felt like I had paid for a hooker and did not even bust a nut. Disclaimer was a waste of money and talent.
It begins with two people having sex on a train. That instantly got me hooked onto the show. But then the rest of the first episode just meanders aimlessly along as the episode changes timelines and this was very confusing. The first episode is torture however, the second episode ends dramatically as it is revealed that Catherine Ravenscroft the character played by Blanchett cheated on her husband 20 years ago in Italy. Someone sent the pictures to the husband Robert played by Cohen. Long story short Robert kicks Catherine out of the house. Then Stephen Brigstocke (played by Kevin Kline) the father of the man who Catherine cheated with is out for revenge because he blames Catherine for letting her son drown. In the end Catherine explains that the son raped her and that is why she let him drown. The father of the dead son forgives Catherine and does not go through with his revenge. Robert also forgives his wife even though they choose to get divorced. The end.
A few things dont make any sense about this show. Why didn't Catherine just explain to her husband and father that the son raped her at the very beginning? Why didn't she go to the police after the rape? Why did she lounge at the beach after the rape? Why is the son such an unlikeable asshole? Why was Catherine stupid enough to drink tea from a man who hates her? Why did Catherine's coworkers turn on her so fast because of the word of some old guy? Why were the nurses at the hospital so stupid to let random people go in to visit the patients? Why was the father of the dead son angry when Catherine wasn't directly responsible for her son's death? I could go on and on trying to make sense of a nonsensical plot. What is worse is that Disclaimer got nominated for many awards. Why? I do not know. Perhaps I am the mad man in a world full of sane people. If I was the writer I would have another plot twist that Catherine had lied to Stephen and his son did not rape her. She did have an affair. And the story ends with her getting away with it and she moves back in with her husband.
Disclaimer is a poor man's Pulp Fiction. It plays around with the timeline but it is confusing at first. For a while it seems interesting but then Catherine's story about the rape just makes the whole story ridiculous. It is as if they just had to have a plot twist just for the sake of having a plot twist. As a writer you always want to have interesting plot twists but sometimes maybe it is better to have no plot twist than to have a nonsensical plot twist. Another series that started off great but have a terrible plot twist is Behind her Eyes.
I wont waste any more time with this review and I suggest you do not waste your time watching Disclaimer.
Someone suggested I watch the movie The Others and I am grateful I watched it. It is phenomenal. An excellent movie. It made a ton of money at the box office and got many awards and rightfully so. It is the only horror movie I saw where I was genuinely afraid.
Long story short Grace Stewart played by Nicole Kidman lives in house with her two children. She employs some spooky servants to work in and around the house. And for a while it seems like the house is haunted. The children see ghosts and there is some unnatural activities around the house. Tensions rise and in the end it is revealed that is Grace, her kids and the servants who are the actual ghosts and there are people living in the house who they thought were the ghosts.
For half of the film I am watching this movie almost falling asleep because nothing happens. But slowly the suspense rises and for the second half of the movie I am thoroughly engrossed in the story. At first I thought the servants were up to no good. Then I thought the kids were just being naughty. But I could not see the plot twist from a mile away.
I really need to watch more films by the writer Alejandro Amenabar who wrote The Others. How did he come up with such a story? What I can learn from The Others is that when I am writing a story, things must always be what they appear to be. Like in the films Se7en and Primal Fear sometimes it is okay to have a bleak ending where there is no hope.
They don't make movies like Primal Fear anymore. I am no longer a kid and this aint the 90s, I think to myself as I torture myself watching another rubbish movie churned out in the 2020s. How Primal Fear got 77% on Rotten Tomatoes illustrates how as a writer it is impossible to please everyone. Even the best story has its haters and some people just cannot appreciate great storytelling. Primal Fear deserved 100% on Rotten Tomatoes.
It is about 2 hours long but it feels like twenty minutes. To summarise the beautiful story, Richard Gere plays a lawyer Martin Vail who has to defend Aaron Stampler played by Edward Norton. Aaron Stampler is accused of murdering Archbishop Rushman. Aaron denies committing the murder. Long story short it is revealed that Stampler has two personalities and sometimes blacks out and does things he cannot remember. After Stampler takes the stand and blacks out after being questioned he is found not guilty by reason of insanity and will spend a short time in a psychiatric ward.
The film ends with Aaron revealing that he had been pretending to black out and that he had played Martin Vail for a fool. That plot twist left me in a state of astonishment. I did not see that coming.
Primal Fear is based on a novel by the same name written by William Diehl. Primal Fear is the first book in a trilogy followed by Show of Evil and Reign in Hell. I wonder why the two following books were not adapted into movies as well. Is it too late to make a second and third movie?
The lesson in Primal Fear like in Se7en is that sometimes it makes sense for the bad guy to win and for the good guy to lose.
Se7en is one of favourite movies off all time. It should have gotten 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. And frankly this is one movie that deserves a remake. It is the perfect movie. Se7en is flawless and has no blemishes. As a writer I can only hope to write a story half as good as Se7en. When I am thinking of plots and stories I struggle with coming up with plot twists and how to build suspense and subvert the expectations of the reader. How the writers of Se7en does it is beyond comprehension.
When I started watching the movie, I thought it was a regular good cop catches bad guy movie. And for half the movie it seems like they will finally catch the serial killer who is murdering people based on their vices, the seven deadly sins. When the serial killer enters the police station with a bloody shirt I was shocked and my expectations were subverted. I have never seen such a spectacle in a movie.
When the detectives begin questioning the character played by Kevin Spacey, I was expecting him to be placed in handcuffs and led away to prison. But then John Doe the serial killer tells David Mills played by Brad Pitt and Detective Lt Somerset there is another body he must show them I was at the edge of my seat. This what great story telling is about.
Then the two detectives and the serial killer head off to the crime scene and I am expecting to see two dead bodies in a ditch. Only to find out John Doe has killed David Mills wife played by Gwyneth Paltrow and had the head delivered to him. The final confrontation between David Mills and John Doe is nerve wracking. Part of me wanted David to kill John Doe and I expected him to do the right thing and put the weapon down. And when he blasts the serial killer I was torn emotionally. The ending was bittersweet. John Doe turns David Mills into a killer and wins whilst also taking a bullet in the head. The bad guy triumphs and loses at the same time.
As a writer I do not think I could ever tell a story quite as sublime as Se7en. Where he got the idea I will never know. Although I saw an interview where the writer said that the movie company did not want such a bleak ending but the actors and writers pushed for the original ending. I guess the lesson here is that sometimes it is okay for the antagonist to defeat the protagonist.
Fight Club is 1999 movie that has entered the zeitgeist. More than two decades after its release it is still being talked about and quoted. I had never watched this movie so I decided to give it a watch and I was intrigued for most of the movie. I wondered what would happen next. Then it all fell apart for me as it was revealed that Tyler Durden didn't even exist. What a cop out by the writer! You have led the viewer on a wild goose chase only to reveal that the goose doesn't even exist. Finding out the unnamed narrator was just seeing things and talking to himself made me lose interest in the movie. Thereafter I lost any connection with Edward Norton character.
Fight Club to me is just about a westerner who has everything whining about how life has no meaning. There are people in the third world starving to death and Fight Club is about a man who is suffering from boredom. And perhaps that is what is wrong with the western world. The rich have everything and have to invent alter egos and a struggle to keep themselves alive. I could only hope one day to have all the material possessions and to be bored and unfulfilled. Boredom beats starvation and poverty in my book. Perhaps the western man requires mandatory military service to keep him alive and motivated and to give him a reason to struggle.
I do believe making Tyler Durden was the wrong move in the movie. The writer took the coward's way out instead of bringing about a proper resolution. If I was the writer I would have kept Tyler Durden as a real character and not a figment of imagination. How would the story end if Tyler Durden is a real person?
Secret Window starring Johnny Depp as a crazy writer is another movie that leads the viewer on and gives a silly plot twist when it is revealed the antagonist is just a figment of the main character's imagination. I was invested in the plot until it is revealed there is no antagonist and the writer Morty Rainey is just a mad man. What a let down! Perhaps Steven King or the screenwriter did not know how to end the movie and decided to just make the antagonist an apparition.
Secret Window was a moderate success and got 46% on Rotten Tomatoes and rightfully so. There is no real plot once it is revealed there is no antagonist. How would I have ended Secret Window? I would have had Morty kill Shooter and bury him in the yard and then proceed to kill the wife and her lover too and bury them there. But I would have ended it with Morty getting arrested and spending the rest of his life in jail or a psychiatric ward seeing the ghosts of the people he murdered.
In conclusion, finding out a character I had invested time and energy onto is an imaginary character ruins a movie for me. It is not a good plot twist and seems like a cowardly way to conclude a story.
Carlito's Way is overrated and badly written in my opinion. The movie does not deserve 84% on Rotten Tomatoes. It begins by showing Carlito, the character played by Pacino getting shot. The whole flashback technique does not work because right away the suspense is gone. You know within five minutes Carlito is not going to make it. So when in the end Carlito is inevitably killed the viewer has seen it coming a mile away.
Secondly Carlito's Way is way too long. The long scenes with Carlito and his love interest stretch way too long. Carlito's monologue in the court room is way too long and unnecessary. The movie should have been done in one and half hours but drags on for two unnecessary long hours. Carlito's Way cannot be compared to Scarface or the Godfather in any way shape or form. If I was the writer for Carlito's Way I would have scrapped the opening scene of Carlito getting shot thereby leaving the viewer in suspense.
However, I did like the plot twist where it is revealed that the lawyer had been snitching on Carlito and how Carlito gets his revenge.
Never Die Alone was a great movie. I always thought it was underrated and deserved more love. Why it got 26% on Rotten Tomatoes is unbelievable to me. It is not too long and wraps it all up in less than 90 minutes. It is similar to Carlito's Way in the sense that they are both gangster movies about redemption where the gangster dies in the beginning of the movie. However, with Never Die Alone the movie continues to hold the viewer's attention because through the journalist listening to the tapes King David's story is retold. Meanwhile there is tension in the air because Mike is hunting Moon looking for revenge. And Never Die Alone ends with a plot twist as it is revealed that Mike was actually King David's son. There could have been a Never Die Alone 2 as the story of Mike continues to see what he does with the money.
As a writer it is tempting to use flashbacks to entice the reader and to give backstory. Personally I am not a fan of giving the reader a taste of the ending in the beginning of the story. Carlito's Way failed to keep my attention whilst Never Die Alone kept the suspense going.
The Ndebele and Shona are two tribes who live in present day Zimbabwe. They have had a controversial history that may include a genocide known as gukurahundi. The Shonas claim that the Ndebeles are colonisers no different from the Rhodesians. The Shonas claim the Ndebeles ran away from Shaka in Zululand, came to Zimbabwe and stole Shona women and cattle and killed thousands f Shona people. Shonas further accuse the Ndebele and Lobengula in particular of selling away the country to the white man for a packet of sugar. Today Shonas are fond of threatening to unleash Gukurahundi part 2 and revel in telling Ndebeles to go back to KwaZulu Natal.
On the other hand the Ndebeles accuse the Shonas of being the colonialists who came from Burundi and only arrived in the land in the 1700s. There is a book written about this theory called the Rebirth of Bukalanga written by Ndzimu Emmanuel. Here is the link https://kalanga.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/The-Rebirth-of-Bukalanga-Final-Version-on-Word-for-Internet.pdf. The book alleges that Kalanga are the native people of Zimbabwe who built Great Zimbabwe and the Mutapa empire. Meanwhile Shonas are late comers and interlopers who destroy everything they touch. Furthermore, the Ndebeles deny the allegations that Mzilikazi and Lobengula were aggressors who victimised the Shona. In fact, the Ndebeles say, it was the Shonas who gave up the land to the whites without a fight and went further and helped the British colonise Mthwakazi (their name for Matabeleland) in 1890. Ndebeles claim that during the liberation war in the 70s the Shonas were cowards who ran away from the Rhodesians and spent their time at all night pungwes raping girls, drinking beer and eating chicken. The accusations continue as the Ndebeles point the finger at the Shonas for orchestrating a the Gukurahundi genocide that they say claimed the innocent lives of 20 000 and some say 40 000.
Last week I saw a discussion on Youtube about Shona and Ndebele relations between the famous Joshua Maponga and Ndebele guests. The usual talking points about Ndebele aggression and Shona cowardice were brought up. The discussion ended up being a shouting match and was not constructive at all. Insults were thrown around and in the end it was a waste of time. Here is the video
The Youtube video is a damning indictment of the Zimbabwean educational system. It showed how little Zimbabweans know about their history. Maponga was asked what the Ndebele did to the Shonas and he could not answer. Then the Ndebele speaker made it seem like Mzilikazi was a saint who never hurt a fly. Anyone who has read a bit about precolonial Zimbabwe would have known the answer.
If I had been asked what the Ndebele did to the Shona I would have said the following:
Firstly, Mzilikazi is known to have killed Rusumbami, the Nambya chief. It is said Rusumbami had two hearts and Mzilikazi had him cut open to see if it was true. Apparently it was false, Rusumbami had only one heart.
Mzilikazi is said to have traded cattle for Kalanga children. The Kalanga had lost their cattle to Zwangendaba and the Ndebele needed servants so it was fair trade, I guess.
Mzilikazi then went to war with Tohwechipi Chibhamubhamu the last Kalanga chief and the Kalanga was defeated and fled to Buhera.
Then Mzilikazi went to war with Chief Hwata of the Mazoe area. Hwata was captured, brought to Mzilikazi and set free after agreeing to be a vassal of the Ndebele.
Then I would have brought up the crimes of Lobengula who killed the spirit medium Chaminuka, Kawodza the father of Kaguvi, Chief Nemakonde, Chief Chibi Mazorodze who was skinned alive and about 400 Shonas at Fort Victoria in 1893. So no, Lobengula and Mzilikazi were not saints but neither were they devils. They were complex humans like all of us.
If you want to know more about Shona Ndebele relations you can read DN Beach's article Ndebele Raiders and Shona Power here
The Matabele War by Stafford Glass is a great read and gives a detailed account of Shona Ndebele relations, including a gory incident where a runaway Shona slave boy is assegaid to mince meat by Ndebele warriors who refer to Shonas as "food for their spears".
Travel and Adventure in South East Africa by Selous illustrates a world of Matabele atrocities where raiding and killing were sport for the Ndebele. They are numerous accounts of Ndebeles killing innocent people and enslaving women and children. Link below
Another great read is an account of the Matabele raid on Fort Victoria that killed 400 Shonas and has a scene where Ndebeles beg the whites to release the Shonas so they can kill them. Here is the link below
Below is a gory and harrowing account of the Shangani battle between the Ndebele and British which saw Shona slaves trapped between the two fighting factions and where the Ndebele slaughtered unarmed Shona women and children.
Some Shona from Quested’s camp were walking down to the Shangani river for water about 3:45 am and walked straight into warriors of the Isiziba Regiment. Two Shona were quickly killed, but the third managed to get away and ran back to the native laager raising the alarm. The amaNdebele immediately attacked Quested’s kraal and began to kill men, women and children there. Mr Quested, sleeping at the native laager, received the first attack, getting up to find the amaNdebele upon them and stabbing whoever they can find.
Jack Carruthers wrote, “(We) were endeavouring to get the loyal natives to come into the laager, but they were confused, running in all directions. Most of the women ran to the veld, only to be killed by the oncoming Matabele.”
Burnham, “over and above all, the din of the firing rose the shrieks and yells of the friendly natives as they were stabbed and slaughtered by the onrushing Matabele. It was on this occasion that some of the unfortunate friendlies got mixed up with the enemy and were swept up against our laager, willy-nilly, to be shot down by our own Maxim guns.”
So for the Ndebele to act as if Mzilikazi and Lobengula were saints and pan-Africanists is disingenuous. Either they are lying or they are ignorant about their own history which they boast to know so much about.
Personally, I do not blame the Ndebele. It was and still is a dog eat dog world. To the victor goes the spoils. The Ndebele were strong and the Shona were weak. And nature has no pity for the weak. The Shona deserved to be exploited because they did not fight back and chose to be victims. I sometimes wonder why the Shona did not make their own shields and assegais and fight back. Perhaps we really were and we still are spineless cowards. The Ndebeles should not be ashamed of their history not matter how bloody and violent it was.
Furthermore, Ndebele Shona relations in precolonial times were not always acrimonius. There were times when Shonas and Ndebeles got along. For example, Lobengula and Chaminuka were allies at one point. Lobengula would give cattle and wome to Chaminuka and Chaminuka would perform rain making rituals for Lobengula. The Ndebele did offer protection in exchange of tribute from various Shona chiefs like the Hwata dynasty. Sometimes the Ndebele would lend cattle to their Shona allies such as Chief Gomara to be used for milk. One must remember that the Shona were not one united nation and different Shona chiefs often fought each other. Thus the Ndebele would often fight on behalf of Shona chiefs against their enemies. There was even a group of Karangas known as the Dumbuseya who adopted Nguni dressing and raided other Shona communities. There is an account of the Ndebele defeating the Dumbuseya after they attacked Chief Mposi of the Lemba who was an ally of the Ndebele.
The Shona are not entirely blameless. There are accounts of Shonas attacking Ndebele women and hacking off their legs as well as accounts of Shonas like Chief Bere stealing Ndebele cattle. Shonas also peddle falsehoods and distort history. It is a lie that Lobengula sold the country to the whites. He did give them mining rights in exchange of a gunboat, weapons and gold. Some say Lobengula was the only leader in Zimbabwe history to sign a mega deal that brought real development. Nevertheless, Lobengula naively thought the whites would mine for gold and then leave the land. He was mistaken.
Yes it is true that the Shona did not resist the British Pioneer Column. Many of them saw the white men as protectors from the Ndebele and others thought the whites would mine gold and leave thereafter. And it is true that the Shona and the Bechwana helped the whites to defeat the Ndebele who they feared and hated.
It is also true that Gukurahundi did happen and it was unjustified and cruel. There are plenty of books and documentaries about Gukurahundi. Below is a book that gives a vivid account of the genocide. It makes for grim reading but is essential. Gukurahundi in Zimbabwe by Columbia/Hurst.
Below is the best documentary I have seen on Gukurahundi by Zenzele Ndebele
Was it revenge on the Ndebele by the Shona for historical grievances? Was it politics between Zanu and Zapu? Whatever the cause it was wrong. However, I doubt there will be an apology, a truth and reconciliation commission or monetary compensation for the Ndebele genocide. At least not in the near future. Those guilty of Gukurahundi will never be punished or be locked behind bars. There will be no Mthwakazi independence and the thought of a separate Ndebele kingdom will remain a dream. The wounds will continue to fester and there will be no healing. Such is life. Sometimes there is no justice in this cruel world.
However, I do believe the Ndebeles should be included in the national discourse. They should not be treated as foreigners. Matabeleland must be renamed to Mthwakazi, the Ndebele king must be officially recognised and Mzilikazi Day must be recognised as a public holiday in Matabeleland. That is the least the government can do.
Tribal rivalry is commonplace in Africa and the world at large. There is nothing new under the sun and the Shona Ndebele rivalry is strange or peculiar. However, peace must always be the goal. The Hutus and the Tutsi made amends, so did the Germans and the French. And thus, we must strive to live in harmony with each other despite historical differences. The truth is that on the ground most Shonas and Ndebeles get along well. They intermarry, work and live together. It is only in football stadiums and social media where there is acrimony. In reality, we are all Zimbabweans and we must live together whether we like it or not.
If you would like to find out more about Shona culture as well as support my writing career, check out my book series The Shona Chronicles on Amazon. Link below.
Among the Matabele is a short book written by Reverend David Carnegie. It was published in 1894. For anyone interested in precolonial Zimbabwe this is a very interesting read. It gives an account of life among the Matabele before the advent of European colonialism. To read this book is to delve into a world untouched by Christianity and modernity. And what is great about this 136 page work of non-fiction is that you can download it for free here
The Matabele were a proud warrior nation founded by Mzilikazi, a renegade from Zululand who was once a general under Shaka Zulu before they parted ways. 300 Matabele warriors, women and children led by Mzilikazi journeyed north, fighting the tribes they met along the way, gathering the defeated and building a mighty nation. They settled in what is today Pretoria before clashing with the Boers and coming out second best. Then they travelled north again and finally settled in what is today Matabeleland in Zimbabwe.
When Reverend Carnegie lives amongst the Matabele they are now settled in their new homeland and are the masters of all they survey. They live comfortably in the new land blissfully unaware that in a few years their world will come crushing down and Rhodesia will be built on the ruins of the dismantled Matabele kingdom.
Reverend Carnegie spoke fluent Ndebele, lived at Hope Fountain twenty miles from koBulawayo the capital of Matabele. He spent ten years there from 1882 to 1892 and became personally acquainted with Lobengula the king of the Matabele. Carnegie describes the daily life of the Matabele. He mentions how the Matabele are rich in cattle and corn and how there is no hunger poverty in the land. He describes the Matabele as a proud people who consider other tribes as slaves, cowards and dogs. The Reverend writes about how the Matabele live in constant fear of witchcraft and how those suspected of witchcraft suffer a brutal death. Often those who accuse others of witchcraft are inspired by jealousy of their neighbour. Carnegie also discusses how life amongst the Matabele revolves around agriculture and how they are always anxious about the rain and how they fear a drought. Many rituals are performed to insure that the rain comes on time and being a rain doctor was a very lucrative business. The religious life of the Matabele is discussed in detail as well their business and what they did for a living. Making shields, working the land, herding cattle, beer brewing, being a warrior etc.
The book beings with a summary of the rise of the Matabele but it ends with a description of Khama chief of the Bamangwato people. Khama was the complete opposite of Lobengula. He had accepted baptism and become a Christian. Khama was a merciful and benign monarch who hesitated to spill human blood. He was generous and helped the less fortunate. And of course in the end Lobengula and the Matabele came to ruin whilst Khama and his people prospered and even today the people of Botswana live in peace and security.
When I finished the book I got the impression that colonialism was a blessing for the Matabele. The book described Matabele life as uncivilised and primitive. Carnegie describes the Matabele as an "untamable horde of savages" and Lobengula as the "embodiment of the very worst features of the native character". Let me give two examples that illustrates how ignorant pre-colonial Africans were. The Matabele believed the hippo was a sacred animal and killing it without the king's approval would cause a drought and the rain would not fall. One white man was banished from the land because he shot a hippo without the king's consent. Matabele rain doctors would make all sorts of concoctions of herbs, bones etc that would make the rain fall on time. One day a white man knocked down a jar full of rain making medicine and the whole village was afraid there would be a drought. However, the next day there was a lot of rain and the Matabele now thought the spilling of the concoction made the rain fall.
It is possible that the book is written with ill intent. It may be the ramblings of a racist white man who is angry that the Matabele had refused to convert to Christianity. Perhaps Among the Matabele is a polemic work of fiction meant to besmirch a proud and prosperous nation. Or maybe Carnegie was sincere and gave a precise description of life among the Matabele. There is no doubt that the Matabele kingdoms was a well organised, disciplined state which towered above the other African tribes. Unfortunately, history is written by the literate. If the Matabele had written down accounts of their own world, it would possibly be a bit different from Carnegie's account. The lesson here is that if you do not write your own history, other people will write it for you. The important thing is to write your own story and let future generations be the judge.
My personal thoughts
After reading the book I now understand why Ndebeles feel like they must separate from Zimbabwe and create their own state called Mthwakazi. The precolonial Ndebele state was sovereign, powerful, very territorial and well organised. The Ndebeles are a proud people like their Zulu cousins. They take pride in their language, history and culture. Back in the 1800s the Ndebele ruled over the Shona and today the roles are reversed and they lie under the Shona boot. They experienced a genocide called Gukurahundi during the 1980s. Today they feel like they are marginalised. Thus there are calls for a separation from Shona hegemony and Zimbabwe. I cannot blame them. A separate Mthwakazi would probably be a functional state like Namibia or Botswana. However, unless there is war or a miracle I cannot see how Mthwakazi will be free of Zimbabwe. It seems Zanu pf will rule Zimbabwe for the foreseeable future. I cannot see the perpetrators of Gukurahundi being brought to justice and I don't see any monetary compensation and apology of their aggrieved. It is heart breaking but it is the truth.
The best the Ndebeles can hope for is renaming their province from Matabeleland to Mthwakazi, respecting their national holidays like King Mzilikazi day and recognising their king as a traditional leader.
Mbuya Nehanda and Sekuru Kaguvi before their execution
Mbuya Nehanda aka Charwe Nyakasikana is a legendary figure in Zimbabwe history. According to oral tradition she was instrumental in the first Chimurenga war which saw the native Shona people rise up against the British settlers in the wars of 1896 to 1897. Black Zimbabweans call the uprising the first Chimurenga, Ndebeles call it the Umvukile and Rhodesians call it the Rebellion. The various names show how one event can be distorted and miscontsrued and used for political mileage by people. Let us begin with how Mbuya Nehanda is perceived by her supporters.
Zanu pf the largely Shona based political party has lionised Mbuya Nehanda. She is like the Zimbabwean Boudica or the Shona Joan of Arc. Nehanda was apparently a spirit medium whose real name was Charwe Nyakasikana and she was possessed by the spirit of Nehanda. She encouraged and led the people to rise up against the white settlers. She told the warriors that if they had courage the bullets of their enemies would turn to water. Unfortunately, for Nehanda the rebellion was a failure and she was eventually captured and hung on the 27 April 1898. She was sentenced to death and allegedly before her execution she sang, danced and said, 'My bones will rise from the grave.' Nehanda encouraged her people to take weapons and reclaim the land. She was beheaded and her head was carried off to Britain. Why they took her head and will not return it remains a mystery. Nevertheless, today Mbuya Nehanda has a statue placed in the capital city of Zimbabwe. Books and songs are made about her and she has been immortalised.
Statue of Mbuya Nehanda in Harare the capital city of Zimbabwe
The song Mbuya Nehanda
According to her detractors like the Ndebele she was a witch and a STD ridden prostitute. According to the Ndebeles it was another woman who was the central figure in Umvukile uprising. That woman was Queen Lozikeyi, a wife of the deposed Ndebele king Lobengula. Historically, despite her leading the rebellion, she made an agreement with Rhodes and company and escaped the hangman's noose. Today Ndebeles immortalise her in song and poetry whilst Shonas ignore her and most have never heard of her.
Queen Lozikeyi of the Ndebele
However, according to the Rhodesians and their written documents Mbuya Nehanda was neither a witch nor a martyr. DN Beach writes in a document entitle Innocent Woman Unjustly Accused that Charwe was not involved in the uprising. She had a white settler name Pollard murdered because he had lost some of the carriers she had given to him. Carriers being servants who carried things for Pollard. Allegedly, Charwe had supplied Pollard with workers and Pollard had returned to Charwe without the employees. Charwe was so furious she had Pollard killed. According to Beach, during the trial Charwe denied having had Pollard killed whilst witnesses and snitches like Kaguvi said she was responsible for it. According Beach there was no singing, dancing and final speech. Charwe was just an old woman unjustly accused and scape goated for a crime she did not commit. Below is a link to the document written by DN Beach about Nehanda.
There is a book I have been meaning to read called Charwe by an author called Elton Ndudzo. Unfortunately, I can only get it online and it is very expensive to purchase on Amazon with the delivery costs etc. Hopefully, one day I can read it and see how he tackled the Charwe story. I, myself had been meaning to write a fictional story about it but Elton Ndudzo beat me to it. Check out the book if you can.
I hope one day the government can one day bring back her bones from Britain and bury them at Heroes Acre. In a twisted way her bones did rise, just not in the way she meant it. They rose and went over the oceans and I hope one day they rise again and be returned to her homeland. Furthermore, I hope the government can make the day of her death 27 April a national holiday. And they must not forget about the Ndebele uprising and also honour Queen Lozikeyi for her contributions. Maybe one day they can make movies and tv shows about Mbuya Nehanda and Queen Lozikeyi
Was Mbuya Nehanda a liberator, a witch or an innocent woman unjustly condemned? We will never know for sure. But that is the beauty and ugliness of history. It is not an exact science. We can bend it to suit our own needs. Like Napoleon said, 'History is a set of lies agreed upon.' And Goebbels also said, 'Repeat a lie often enough and it becomes true.' Thus, Nehanda can be whatever you want her to be.
I remember watching The Sopranos and hearing Tony Soprano talk about how The Art of War was useful to him and more helpful than The Prince by Machiavelli. Paulie Walnuts called Sun Tzu the Chinese Machiavelli. So I decided to read the Art of War myself and boy oh boy, was I disappointed. If you arent a soldier or general fighting on horseback or in the Medieval Age I dont see how this book can be of any use. It is really is the Art of War and only deals with matters of warfare. In my opinion if you want to climb the corporate ladder or steal a girl from her boyfriend the Art of War is not for you.
Art of War is about preparing for war, battle strategies, foraging for food, which terrain to fight on, how to fight with a large army and how to fight with a small army, how to utilise spies etc. But as far as I am concerned it is not helpful to a civilian who is not involved in warfare. Sure, there are few useful quotes from Art of War like the ones below but all in all I didnt find the book helfpful or entertaining at all.
Everyone and their mother has heard of the book The Prince by Machiavelli. It is a classic written in the 1500s. I had always heard about the book. It is quoted in books and movies and is apparently the Bible of politics and power. So I decided to give it a read.
On the positive side, it is a very short read. You can finish it in a few days if you are lazy or you have other things to do. Machiavelli is a good writer and the prose flows well. I am not sure how it feels reading it in 16th century Italian but in English it is very easy to understand. There is no need to keep your dictionary at hand when reading it because it is quite simple and straightforward.
On the other hand, I was a bit disappointed. I was expecting to read the about the dark arts of politicking. Yes, the book gives advice on how to take and use power, but it is far from malevolent. Machiavelli doesnt necessary give instructions on how to be the next Stalin or Hitler. In fact he encourages a leader to be generous and to look first for the people's interests. The worst thing that can happen to a prince is to be hated by the people. He writes that fortresses are useless if the people hate you. So one must be generous, as long as the leader is not using his own money. Machiavelli does not encourage cruelty, he writes that one must be cruel only in warfare and must commits acts of cruelty sparingly.
Machiavelli warns the reader or aspiring prince against taking other people's property or wives and to give the appearance of being a merciful and just leader. He writes how it is a bad idea to rely on mercenaries and other powerful leaders. And he also advises a prince to arm his people and to rely on his own citizens for war. Machiavelli writes how a leader should be wary of flatterers and to be willing to take criticism from advisers.
In conclusion, I think Machiavelli gets a bad wrap. His greatest work has become notorious for allegedly teaching rulers how to be deceitful and ruthless. In reality, the book gives sound advice on how to be a fair but just ruler. However, I do not feel it is applicable in the daily life of an ordinary person. It was written for a member of the Medici family, encouraging him to liberate Italy from foreigners. The famous line about being better to be feared than loved is often quoted but people forget to add that one must avoid being hated.
The 1998 film Sliding Doors starring Gwyneth Paltrow is one of my favourite films of all time. It is such a unique and deep film it is criminal how it got 65% on Rotten Tomatoes. It should have gotten 95% in my opinion. It is a story about how a moment in time can alter one's destiny. The main character Helen played by the beautiful Gwyneth misses her train and that draws into two separate story lines that play out in the movie. I loved the movie and I would have like to see a sequel to see how the relationship between Helen and James played out after the elevator doors closed.
Why is there no Sliding Doors 2, Sliding Doors 3, 4, 5 etc? The idea of missing a train, bus, flight, ship can be made into other stories, movies and tv shows where a character ends up in two or three different storylines and different endings to a movie. The writer Peter Howitt is literally sitting on a gold mine. Or perhaps the world prefers super hero movies to well thought out and deep movies that get people thinking. If I had a billion dollars I would finance Sliding Doors 2 where a character preferably played by Amy Adams misses a flight and that changes the course of her life. Then I would finance Sliding Doors 3 where a character misses her ship and so forth and so on. It could be a never ending movie franchise.
The only thing I did not like about Sliding Doors was the ending where Helen dies in a coma. That storyline did not make any sense. Why kill her off? What was the point of her dying? If it was up to me, one storyline would have had Helen live happily ever after with James. The other storyline would have had Helen dying at the hands of Lydia, Lydia goes to jail, Gerry commits suicide. One storyline ending as a comedy and the other concluding as a tragedy.
The Oscar winning film Parasite is a great film and not only is it entertaining but it is also very deep and philosophical. Though it came out in 2019 I am embarrassed to have only watched it recently in 2024. I must have been living under rock. And anyone who has not seen it should drop whatever they are doing and watch Parasite.
Here is the problem I have with Parasite. There are no parasites in the film. It is a film about a poor family who connive their way into the good graces of a rich family in order to... work for them. Though it is a great movie to call Kim Ki-taek parasites is an injustice. They do honest work for the most part. In the beginning, yes they use other people's wife but at the same time they actually fold pizza boxes for a living and that is not parasitical. Later on the father becomes a driver, the mother a house cleaner, the son and daughter become tutors. In what way are they parasites? Even the rich family Park family are not parasites. The father is an architect and the wife is a stay at home mother who looks after the children. Even the guy trapped in the basement is not a parasite, he bangs his head and turns on the lights for Mr Park and thus is not a virus on society.
It would have made sense for the film to be about politicians or criminals who are the real parasites on society. Perhaps there can be a Parasite 2 where the son Ki-woo does some criminal activities to get rich and purchase the house his father is trapped in. Maybe a Parasite 2 could be about the criminal underworld, the corrupt political class and how they intertwine.
One other thing I did not like was why the daughter Ki-jung had to die. It made no sense to the overall story in my opinion. What did she do to deserve death? I think they just killed her off for the shock value.
In any event South Korean television is slowly surpassing Hollywood in my opinion. I enjoyed Squid Game, Jewel in the Korean palace and Parasite as well. South Korean story telling is unique and authentic. The only film I did not like from South Korea is Old Boy which I thought was nonsensical and vulgar. Fathers sleeping with daughters, brothers romancing sisters is revolting and does not make good story telling in my opinion.
Anyway, if you have not watched Parasite do give it a chance. And I hope one day they make Parasite 2, because the story of Ki-woo is still unfinished.
Lessons
The lesson to be learned from the movie is that be grateful for what you have. In the beginning of the movie the Ki family was poor but at least they had each other. They envied the Park family and wanted to be rich but in the end the Ki family was left devastated. The daughter lost her life and the father lost his freedom. In the end the son and mother were left alone. In life you don't know what you got til its gone. The Ki did not appreciate that they had each other. In life there are things more important than money. Family and relationships are way more important than material possessions.
The second lesson of the movie is that the truth always comes to light. Secrets will always be revealed no matter how much we try to hide them. In the movie the Ki family thought they were clever and could get away with lying but in the end all was revealed. What a tangled web we weave when we conspire to deceive!
Thoughts
Like I said before, I dont think they are any parasites in the movie. The Ki family actually worked for the Parks so in what way were they parasitic. Even the guy in the basement turned on the lights with his head so he was no parasite.
However, the western world is full of parasites. In places like America, criminals sit around in prisons eating and sleeping whilst law abiding citizens have to work to put a roof over their heads. At the bottom you see homeless people who contribute nothing to society but beg and steal. At the top there are old geriatric politicians who do nothing but lie and steal. On one had the west aborts and kills millions of innocent fetuses and on the other hand you allow murderers to live in prisons for the remainder of their useless lives all on the citizen's expense. In Europe you have an assortment of ceremonial parasitic monarchs who do nothing but wave at people and smile whilst doing nothing to justify their allowances. And there is also a coterie or sexually frustrated priests who wear strange robes and pastors in outlandish suits promising an afterlife whilst robbing church members blind. The royalty and the priests are both disgusting parasites too who feed on society whilst contributing nothing. Western civilisation truly has a parasite problem! The West is now a fool's paradise or better yet, a parasite's paradise. The solution would be to introduce the death penalty for murderers and violent criminals as well as cutting off the leeches from the welfare system. In any event it would be interesting to see a movie that really looks at parasitic behaviour, perhaps a movies about the homeless, corrupt politicians and the criminal underclass.
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